One bite at a time

I try to maintain a positive vibe on this blog. (i totally do this every morning)

Yet in life there must be balance in all things. Life isn't all cheery times or slogging through the doldrums. I've had a hard time finding that balance again, as you can tell. In some ways, our two years here in Bahrain feel just as long or longer than the 4 in Egypt. Every 6 months, there has been an upheaval; 

- getting to post, waiting 4 months for household goods
- finally getting unpacked and we get hit with an evacuation
- return to house, re-find everything and settle into groove
- get moved from one house to another due to unstable neighborhood conditions
- get to unpack and reorganize and decorate for the 2nd time at post

And now we are back from summer R&R, have gotten over the jet lag and are starting school tomorrow. Still trying to find solutions to everyday life, like where the homework working is going to go down (dining room table did *not* work before), finding a maid (for the last year) and so on and so forth.

I have been doing some serious soul searching in the past few months. I had to find out for myself if blogging was a benefit or a burden to me. I have taken quite a long break and almost every. single. day. I had a new idea; a writing point or a blog topic. It's become quite clear to me that writing has become integral to my sanity and personal growth. Like anyone, I am afraid of failure. Am I setting myself up only to sit back and watch it all burn? Oh wait, I'm not a local troublemaker. No, I don't think so. Besides, how does one eat an elephant? One bite at a time. 

Beware the Groove

I think I can confidently state that due to my lack of regular posting, I have lost any and all interest anybody ever had in this blog. I am basically posting into thin air. 

Bahrain has been a tough post. There, I said it. I finally feel like I've got my feet under me again and it's time for summer R&R. The 26th was supposed to be the last day of school. Not anymore.

Yesterday afternoon, I got an email stating that due to possible incidents (roadways being blockaded, clashes with protesters & police, etc.) school would start three hours late on Monday. Then an hour later, another email came stating that because the possible incidents would also impact Tuesday, they would start 3 hours late that day as well. It was already a half day. Another hour and another email and the whole thing is sorted. Monday will be the last day of school for the elementary and Tuesday will start late and run just long enough for the middle and high school students to take their last exam. Yes, the MS & HS take their exams the last days of school. Crazy, I know. We have this site called Gradespeed where the students can check their test results in a week. I'll bet the teachers love that. 

The reason my feathers are still ruffled about this whole thing? We leave for the States on Wednesday night. Instead of having just one day for the kids to undo all my hard work, they'll have two. Another impediment to my progress here in Bahrain is that I lost my maid in the move back in January. (please, don't even give me any grief on that subject, k?) I have been doing it all on my own since then and it's not easy. You try keeping a 5,000+ square foot house clean. So I've been going along, working my groove, and this hits me like a ton of bricks. I tell ya, love my kids as I do, but when I've got a list of things I need to get done that didn't have the kid factor times 4 included, that messes with the math. 

So since they just left on the bus 20 minutes ago instead of 3 hours and 20 minutes ago, I've really got to get off my duff and get a move on. 

 

Time

"Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have,
and only you can determine how it will be spent.
Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you."
~ Carl Sandburg

I've been silent for a while. Sometimes silence is good. This was a good silence.

I've been trying to sift through my life, picking out the unnecessary and bringing in the important. Deciding which category this blog resides in has been the biggest struggle. I love writing; composing a story for someone. I have figured out that because of the blog, I am a better writer and because of the blog, I write. But therein lies the dilemma. This blog began as a connection to the family on the other side of the ocean. The easiest way to share pictures and such. Things have changed (for the better).

Another quote I really like is, "You have time for what you make time for." Or something like that. There's that object lesson where you have to fit the rocks and sand in a jar, but all of it fits only if you put in the big rocks first, then the sand. Point being that you take care of the big things in your life before the small stuff.

I think it is time to split the blog. One for just me and my narcissistic needs, and this one for family stuff. I have pondered over that dilemma too because so much of who I am revolves around the family. But I believe I have just about got that figured out, too. Really, I'm just trying to decide on a name for the other one and I'll open it right up.

"For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what
happens to the eight hours supposedly
left after eight of sleep and eight of work."

~ Doug Larson

Derailed

At least I'm blogging today. It's one of those days. How does the saying go, 'The best laid plans, something something. ' The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. That's a good summary of the day so far.

We got back from Thailand Friday night. The same night, we find out that while we were gone, the Embassy made the decision to move all the families in our area for safety reasons, which I completely understand. But there is a timeline and it's chugging right along.

This morning, I went to wake up Grant and Jacqui for school. Jacqui rolled over and her cheeks were speckled with bright red dots. Those dots continued down her neck, chest and tummy. Ok, guess she's not going to school. I got the kids off, got ready and waited for the Health Unit to open. They had an opening first thing, so we got in the car and took off. Right before we got to the Health Unit, the management head walked by in the hall and asked if I had a few minutes after my appointment to talk about the move. Oh yes, I have all the time in the world for that! We saw the doctor who prescribed some antibiotics, (he thinks it's a strep rash, will know more after tests confirm/deny). Then my little buddy and I headed across the hall to discuss our future housing.

Fortunately, they are being extremely accommodating, considering the amount of families to move and the time frame they have to do it in. In about an hour, I found myself driving to two different housing complexes to see what could be our future residence. I'm torn. It's going to be a tough decision. It will be smaller, in comparison to what we have right now, but there are other pluses. So that's how it got to be noon and none of what I had planned to get done is done yet. I have to decide by weeks end. Wish me luck!

Oh, and not to leave anyone hanging, here's another Thailand picture!

These are little statues at the Big Buddha shrine. I likey.

Insert Good Excuse Here

If feeling in the Christmas spirit was hard in Cairo, it's even harder here in Bahrain. Oh hi, it's me again. I've had my internal dialogue on all month, it's your fault you can read my mind! I've had a major case of the "I don't cares". The sick cycle of guilt has been rotating on me. It goes something like this:

"Crap, I haven't blogged in a few days. Oh well."
"I haven't blogged in a week! Double crap! I'd better make the next post really good."
"Crap-ola, this is a record, two weeks! I'll do . . . ooo, something shiny!"
"Whoa, over three weeks. *BAM* (that was the sound of Thanksgiving hitting)"

And so it would continue; the feeling of duty to blog, then guilt over how long it has been, followed by the knowledge that anything will be inadequate to make up for the lost time. Finally the avalanche of all insurmountable odds to right my blogging wrongs buries me and I crawl under a rock.

Well no more, my friends. I know, you're all shaking your head going, "Yeah, we've heard this one before." I can't promise the world, but I can try. I've got a backlog of pictures that need showing and the holiday season coming up. I need somewhere I can procrastinate my time away while I should be doing other duties.

Here is a shot from yesterday when we went to the Bahrain Fort. This is why someone always lugs the tripod around on our outings. And that someone usually ends up being Spencer, bless his heart. And he loves the fruits of my hobbies just as much as I do!

I'm in a funk. I've been in it before. I've got this road block in my mind. It's time to bulldoze it into oblivion.
Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt

I've got this quote in plain sight of my desk. I pep myself up with it every day. I'm not going to beat myself up about the pictures I haven't posted. I am not going to let what I "should have done" affect what I am trying to accomplish; which is *anything* at this point. I'm working on gathering all the pictures (and other stuff) from the last 6 months into one place. They've been digitally scattered due to our transient life since March. Yeah, call me a spoiled expat brat for feeling displaced and inconvenienced because of my host country's problems. You wouldn't be the first.

Here is the obligatory "First Day of School" picture. All of them off to the bus at the same time. And they all come bursting in the door at the same time every afternoon. This is a first for me. Give me a few weeks before I start to miss them. It was such a long & hellish summer, we all need a break from each other. And there you have it; my first blog post with both 'damn' and 'hell'. I think I just saw a pig fly past the window.

Timing

It's all about timing. What a time to try and jump back on the blogging wagon. I tell ya, I had visions of grandeur. But living in a hotel for two and a half months does nothing for one's motivational feelings. We've moved out, btw. Spencer is back. (as of Sunday) Families are headed back to Bahrain. We're starting our R&R right now, Bahrain is prepping for our return at the end of June. Wonderful time to arrive! They're ordering some hot, muggy summer weather for us.

Another thing about timing; right when I find the time to be online, we're going to be *very* disconnected. We are embarking on The Great Western Adventure 2011; loading up our rental vehicle, a 15 passenger MAV (mormon assault vehicle), with camping gear, suitcases and 4 kids. The 2011 GWA will loop through Oregon, Washington, Montana and end up where we started in Idaho. Between the good graces of friends & family, camping & the occasional hotel, we will journey through the wonderful & amazing Northwestern Pacific. I'm looking forward to introducing my children to the joys of camping and the singular beauty of this geographic area.

I'm also looking forward to typing with both hands. I've got two of five fingers out of commission. Do you know how long it took me to type this out? Too long.

Pointer finger: Shard of glass, sliced right through the fingertip pad; ring finger: slice on the same place as pointer man, a day earlier on a windowsill.

I will update whenever I come into contact with a WiFi signal.

I wanna

There are plenty of quotes about what a home is; "Home is where the heart is." or "Home is where you drop your bags." or "Home is where they deliver the household goods."

And then there's the "go get 'em" urgings; the "it's not the situation, it's your attitude about the situation." or "bloom where you are planted". Believe me; I've been planted plenty and those blooms came .... eventually.

I am *so* done making a pseudo-apartment 'home'.


I have written & erased countless paragraphs for this post.

Bottom line?

I want to go home to a decorated, organized home. (it's not. we got boxes 3 1/2 months before the evacuation. most is out of boxes, but not everything has a place.)

Can someone follow me around with a camera & capture some of my children's childhood with me in it? And I'd like to be photogenic-looking in them, please.

I really miss my KitchenAid, food processor, and kitchen. Period. Not that I always make great use of them, but the fact that I *could use* them if I wanted to.

I like the show 'Swamp People'. A lot.

That's it. And, uh, yeah, I got nothin' else.

He bugs me

Ok, here it is, it's March! How did this happen? In my resolve to blog more & not strive for perfection, only accomplishment, I give you *drumroll* a bug we found on our sidewalk.

I kind of like how he's "looking" at us.
I imagine he's saying, "Yeah, I dare you to mess with me!"

Here's a good picture for scale.

There's something cool about a big bug. As long as it's not found in my house, on my pillow, in the tub, in the toilet, in the sink, on the couch, in my shoe, in my closet, on my brush or in my food. I don't ask much, I'm a simple girl.

Out of Synch

I'm just not feeling it today. Or this month, for that matter. Try as I might, I stare at my screen, willing prose to pop from my brain, to my fingers & assemble itself into coherent thought. I have at least 4 *really* good blog posts I want to put up. I even have a good, no, great step-by-step recipe!

That last paragraph took me an hour to get down. I feel like one of those screen saver balls bouncing around the screen, aimlessly plowing straight as an arrow to the other side of the box. I have the feeling of being purpose driven, but the mission hasn't been revealed to me. Time seems to slip right through my fingers, but it can't move fast enough.

We just got our vehicle two days ago. One caveat**: It's been sitting in the Embassy Motor Pool parking lot since the first week of October, but two days ago was when all the paper pushing & money shuffling was done. Here she is:

Baby Beluga asks: Does this driveway make my butt look big?

It feels so good to be up above the crowd again. I really only feel comfortable driving the biggest outfit on the road. I've felt like I was in a roller skate these last 3 months; surfing right along the asphalt. She is huge; Spence shaved the paint off the right door handle parking her the first night. But I don't mind. Within 12 hours of receiving Ellie (our 4-runner we drove in Egypt), I backed up & scraped a nice Morse code along the passenger side door with a metal pole. Then we remained unscathed (through any fault of our own) for the rest of our 4 years. So maybe this is a good omen.

I promise to compose & post. I really really really want to get them up. We had a fun weekend; the older girls & I toured the USS Harry S. Truman, an aircraft carrier, actually a supercarrier! I got a picture of the refrigerated pork & beans! And . . . I made tortillas from scratch. Yep, it's been an eventful time. Also, we have a tentative arrival date of two weeks for our long awaited household goods. *phew* I'm going to go take a nap.



**Ooh, caveat. Another word you can type with one hand!

Ten, diez, yol, ashara

This idea isn't really well formed. It's more out of a weird feeling of obligation that I post today. It's 10-10-10. I feel like I should have some clever thingy to do or make. I mean, it's 10-10-10. I know that a lot of people are probably getting married. I mean, a friend or two did it on 9-9-09.

I could think of a top ten list. Or ten things I want. I know that a ten sided figure is called a 'decahedron'. I like the twelve sided figure's name better; dodecahedron. It's just fun to say. Dodecahedron.

That's a decahedron.

I found a book on Amazon called '10-10-10'. Something about life-transforming ideas. I wonder how many people started reading it today at 10:10 am/pm. Apparently The Savoy in London had the same idea. Not to read the book, but to reopen today at 10:10am on 10-10-10.

Ah, and digging a little further, 10.10.10 global is cutting carbon 10% at a time this Sunday, Oct. 10, 2010 'A Global Day of Doing'. It will be the ' . . largest day of positive action on climate change ever.' Did you hear that? Ever! I think I celebrated by doing 5 loads of laundry and keeping my A/C on all day. Seeing as how the heat index was 106F today, it was just an act of preservation.

There's also a boy that turned 10 at 10:10 am today. I remember there was a kid in my school that had a sibling born on 8-8-88. He stretched it so far as to say he was born at 8pm, but I have to doubt that part.

What was I doing 10 years ago? I had a 10 month old baby girl and uh, we were dirt poor living in married student housing at the university. 10 years before that? Uh, I'd rather not reveal my age.

Well, that's only 6 or so factoids and/or random info on 10-10-10. I'd like to lose 10 pounds! There, that's another, 7. And something completely unrelated to the number 10, I'd like to share a clip from my favorite show on earth, The Soup, since I didn't share a clip last week for YouTube Tuesday. Enjoy!

Spreading the word

Ok, I'm not big into blogging about other's blogging. I find it redundant. But this time is for a really good cause. This gal is doing her thesis on . . . *drumroll* . . . blogging! She needs people to fill out questionnaires and send them back to her. In return, you are entered in a drawing for a $100 gift card to Target. Or in French - tar-get. Oh yeah, it sounds the same in print. You know what I mean!! I'm all for entering a drawing, but I also think it's a great reason to help out. Because between you, me and the computer screen, the truth is . . . I never win anything. Ever.

So, here's the linky-do --> Blogging Questionnaire <-- Have fun!! Oh, and here's a fun picture of Grant. Ah, a time in his life when he won't mind Mommy taking a picture of him in the bath.